be my angel for life..every time I close my eyes

I cant believe I wrote my last blog in november....actually...sorry...Ive been cheating....writing has become like sucha compulsive catharsis....im back to my dear diary days....only in a more tech savvy form now...I type it rather than pen it....hope that explains 'UNPENNED'...and the stuff is too personal to put on a blog...not that anyone reads mine anyway..sob sob.......sob sob...and some more sob sob......
anyway...Ive been overburdening myself with expectations and emotions....and Im creating this big mess up within my skull....its soooooo much since the past week....Im just waiting for it to burst...so I can feel free....life brings about so many changes soo soon..that u literally dont realise your living it.....strange......
anyway...Im having a writers block because of my emotional baggage...
so Im gonna be lazy....Ill just update you on my new years resolutions and I pray to dear oh god.....to let them not be jinxed.....I hope 2009 brings in lots of joyy....

1. do not swear..
my friends think this is tooo adolescent...but I hate the sound of cuss words from my mouth...eooowww...so no no..none of it for me anymoee..

2. don't let other people be the reason of your happiness.....or sadness....
- I used to be this shockingly self sufficient person....Im dying to find her back...

3. be calm be patient be positive...BREATHE.....1....2....3....4.....5....6.....7....8....9......if not calm....count again...

and my last and favorite one...

4. end the day with the night....
I wanna begin each day..like a new one....I thought 1st jan was a new beginning...and I want every day to be the same...I want a fresh start,...sunny side up....everyday...and peaceful sleep..the night before....washing my tensions away...with sweeeeeeet dreams.....and happieee lives....n luv...loads of it

2009....HERE I COME......GOD BLESS!!

and this one isnt my resolution...but..
I want to learn to forgive....and I hope I can be strong to face it.....

37. its only in a dark sky..that you see the stars shine.
38. like everythin else....THIS TOOO SHALL PASS....