SILENT

Here I am again, lying in my bed, waiting for the tears to get out of my system so that my eyes can finally seal and take me into an unconscious zone where I feel no pain.
I wait for them and wonder. Even though I have surrendered my life to fate so willingly, I miss my old self that worried about the future all the time. I wonder where my life is headed and why the alley in which I've landed so dark and endless. My heart has been split into two. One half contains all my fears and sorrows and worries. The latter is keeping me going, the one that has faith, the one that makes conversation with every cell of my body, and nudges it to keep going, the one that is giving me an inexplicable hope about the future, the one that keeps me calm, composed and the one that exudes love. It is my soul that is ruling my existence. My soul has taken charge and is rising within me, holding me upright, taking all my doubts and fears, grinding and pushing them out of my body so that when I wake up, I will never remember this pain again. It is re injecting me with so much positivity every day that I have no choice but to feel it. It is healing me. I feel pure, cleansed and and renewed. How I have survived this, only He knows. He is the witness, He is the master. I wish I knew what He has planned, at least a clue, at least a hint. But He has conveniently resided within my heart and is smiling all the time, like I'm the tortoise who will win the race eventually. He has reined me back, slowed down my dreams and made me surrender. He seems to have answered my prayers in the strangest way. I wanted to live a true life and it seems like He is opening my eyes to just that. He is keeping me real, He is making me pure. I have no CLUE. I have NO clue. But its healing me.


# God loves you desperately, live as though you believe it.

## What you're becoming is more important than what you're accomplishing.