Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Animal Diaries Chapter 2- A 'MURDER' of Crows!




Next, I'm going from paws to claws.
From indistinct cat paws to crow claws.
Have you ever wondered why it is 'A Murder of Crows' and not 'A Black Noisy Bunch of Squawk heads' instead?
I have, naturally.
I think it is because of their tendency to attack, defend and mourn in such vast numbers that they end up looking murderous with their black raven color adding to the monstrosity.

But, I'll tell you why it's a 'murder' of humans when they exhibit crow-like traits.
Like crows, humans tend to stick together in opportunistic situations.
It is easy to be a conformist than to stand against a bunch of fools,eh?
Well, if you're standing with the bunch of fools, you're not really counted as anything else.
And when you're always toeing the line, you're not doing anything to break the bubble of conventionality.
And so, you become a 'murderous' bunch that proclaims nothing but orthodoxy.
Nothing but boring black against the blue sky.


My plea:

STOP doing what everyone else is!
Don't join social networking sites because everyone else is, especially if they have idle games. Our farmers would love us on the actual field instead; or being a part of their legislative rights instead.
Don't follow every single thing that your books claim. Question.
Don't be scared to speak up.
Don't be miserly with expressions. It takes 5 seconds to laugh and love but it gives you a kick that will keep you blushing for long after.
Break the rules if you have to. The world is changing everyday. Fight change with change.
Stop being like crows. Evolve.
You're a black beauty who can squawk himself to victory.Alone.

Crow-talk:

I am not black and ugly.
I am black, beautiful and I reflect the colors of the rainbow on my feathers.
We stick together purely for unity, not to look like a 'murderous bunch of fools'.

AHEM!

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Sleepy Drunk


Exhaustion can have a strange manifestation.
Most people I know sleep it off.
I, on the other hand, am the exact opposite.
I sleep when I hate facing the world and when I want to curl up in my cocoon; when I don't want to face a nagging situation that I know I won't be able to handle;when I want to run away from it.
It's my defense mechanism. My subconscious brings out the tucked away thoughts in my sleep and urges my ego to face it. It helps me tremendously. But it makes me go into hibernation more often than I'd like it.
Exhaustion on the other hand brings out the clown in me.When I have a heap load of work with an overhead deadline, I spend every possible minute trying to be productive and sleep is anything but that in my world. So by the end of a few days (weeks sometimes) my brain gets dangerously hypoglycemic.
Something gets dewired between the brain and my mouth and my words make no sense at all.
It's almost always a combination of insomnia and hunger but trust me, its pretty entertaining for anyone who's willing to tolerate it. Most of my friends, love to!

For eg:

Dad's in the room
Mom's in the kitchen
I enter the room and yell, "BYE MOM".
And then just as if to correct my mistake, I hurriedly walk towards the kitchen,peep in and yell, "BYE DAD".
Then I exclaim loudly, "Why can't you'll respond?" and storm out.


To my fat friend who knows I call her fat;
On a hot, frustrated day:

WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LOSE WEIGHT?
WHY ARE YOUR FEET SO DIRTY?
WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE THE SAME PERSON EVERY SINGLE DAY?
WHY IS YOUR BACKSIDE SP-ILL-INGG OUT OF THOSE JEANS?
WHY..WHY..WHY..ARE YOU SO FATTTT?

To the drivers on my left and right:

Stop crushing me like I'm the cream in a cookie!
Huh?

No..Me first....STOP IT....Let me go...Stop..Honk..Honk...Insolent Dog...Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk Honk.

Your staring into my car....Its my space...Your in my space..GET OUT of my space...Blink!

To the RJ:

Huh?!

JUST
PLAY
THE
DAMN
SONG
P L E A S E!

To the Sun:

URGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHH!
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR..

To my Bed:

Stop looking at me so invitingly!

To my mirror:

Who's that ugly thing?

In my sleep:

I swear I woke up on time Sir!

To my food:

You should've been over fertilized!

To the dog:

Are you dead? The last time I saw you awake was in 2009.

To my friends:

I haven't slept in 20 hrs.

To my family:

I haven't slept for more than 3 hours a day in the past whole week.

To the wall:

I've barely slept.

To the painting:

I slept for only 2 hrs today.

To the mosquito:

SMASH!!!!
I need sleep.
SORRY!

I NEED SLEEP!