Thankyou!

Everyone and by that, I mean everyone, has thought of the things they would say if they were up on stage winning an award....while watchin the oscars....or while watchin roger federer up on the pedestal for the umpteenth time expressing his achievement so subtly....or when the captain of the indian cricket team walks up to say a few words after winnin, a very often than not, unexpected tournament....everyone wonders...if I were there...I would've said this...everyone does it...it comes naturally....I infact enjoy the feeling....and so....I knw compared to the oscars or a wimbledon or a 20-20 series my achievement is like the size of a virus...but it IS an achievement....and I am very much entitled to a thankyou speech of my own.....picture me on a grand stage, in front of a thousand great people from varied fields who are all ears to my thankyou speech for scoring well in my 2nd yr exams....dont mock...picture it.....oh and I forgot to mention...the background of the stage is an AV of me performing a cardiac transplant (technically Im never going to do it, but this is a fantasy...and I am the architect) also Im wearing a stunning dress and looking hot........Hrithik roshan hands me the award.....now picture it and hear me say this :

Good evening everyone!
This is not a run-of-the-mill cliched speech coz its me giving it and not you....
First and foremost....I would definitely not like to thank my parents...coz for the 2 months that I was studying hard and trying to be in my friggin own bubble...they were trying to burst it very often and demanded that I spend more time with them....so i wont thank them...coz they acted like kids and and didnt understand that medical studies are tough....anyway I love you mamma and papa.....muahhh...
Secondly I also wouldn't like to thank my friends whose timings couldnt have been worse while telling me all the very happening things...happening in their lives...vacations and boyfriends and parties and goa...etc...watever!! but I love you guys...coz my vacation wouldnt have been a vacation without you'l...hugs galore...
I would also like to mention that my dean had lost it coz she kept so many exams consecutively for 4 months that by the time it was time to give the most important one....we were saturated and frustrated and exhausted...and sleepless if I may mention.....so....I sincerely hope she finds it again....with more neurons this time!!.....uhh wel...she gets no love and kisses till she changes her friggin stately accent....oh I hope this doesnt sound like I disrespect her coz I respect her...alot!! not lying!!
Since alot of you'll here are from the shitty bollywood industry and achieved fame for doing nothing so great....I wouldn't like to thank you'll for being in terribly disgusting movies which aired on TV while I was trying to study...but I watched them anyway....I accept your thanks for stickin through a third degree torture....but seriously...STOP ACTING!!
Also I love anything French but messieurs ul conducted the French Open at the wrong time..totally coinciding with my exams.....I would definitely accept an apology n the form of a free invitation to watch it every yr.....if you want me to be thankful!! Also...luv you Roger...and Nadal,well played, btw nice tush...tee hee!!......
Also all interestin tournaments like 20-20 and the EPL should write a petition to the UN to grant a leave to the spectators during the tournaments.....if u Ha me at this suggestion your probably a woman who hates sports, gay or just plain cynical!!
I have not yet expressed my unthankfulness to the addictive Grey's anatomy series which destroyed my sleep cycle since I preferred to watch it in the only free time I had in a day......which is.....the time I usually spent sleeping......but sincere thanks to the times it made me weep while watching it for cleansin my internal emotional system...
Also I wish to mention that the authors of alot of my subjects need to bloody cut down on the weights of their books coz its tough to balance what seems like 10kgs on ur lap in a comfortable position while your trying to understand what only seems like Hebrew at that time of the yr coz ur friggin studyin it for the first time.....plus i screwed my back trying to find a suitable balancing position......so......use ur authory brains....and make them lighter...or split them into mini lil books.......whatever happened to the policy of Divide and rule.........oh ya...and thankyou for imparting the knowledge....(sweet fake smiles) blah blah!!
Incase your prayin for me to never top again because of this outrageously honest speech which is anything but gracious.....and doesnt give u fake importance....STOP...because I've saved my thanks for a few more important things :

Caffeine....which i absolutely hate...but after 36hrs of insomnia...i had to use it to write my exams....it made me groggy and strange....but it helped..

My will power....for being strong enough to want something so bad that it made me overlook the terrible things happenin in my life....

My best friend.......without whom i literally cant breathe.....so thankyou for my being my life support system!

My pillow...for being so soft and cosy that it made a 1 hr nap last a beautiful lifetime....
My under-eyes for not turning dark and giving me the encouragement of looking good inspite of an unhealthy lifestyle....
Procrastinators.....for existing around me so I didnt feel like the only one........
My ipod........for being an ipod!
and lastly....the owl outside my window....which hooted all nite...and made sure it acted like an ecological alarm clock...which I like to believe was sent by God as his lovin gift..........it hooted and hooted and hooted........and I slogged and slogged and slogged.........its a pretty one by the way!! so thankyou....
If you think I'm actually going to leave you out of my thankyou speech...wellll....Yeah...for the first time this evening...your thinkin right......
But i love hugs and love to love....so LURRRVEEEE YOU'LLL and ....seriously................thanks for listening....... :)with warm smiles the stunner walks off stage.......

UNCUT:
Backstage Bryan Adams serenades her!!






23. A feeling that changes never existed in the first place.
24. Forgive and Forget...thats what they say...its good advice.....but its not very practical.
When someone hurts us...we want to hurt them back......when someone wrongs us....we want to be right....
without forgiveness old scores are never settled.....old wounds never heal
the most we can hope for.....is that....one day....we'l be lucky enough to Forget!!